Ava Bear, Where Art Thou My Ava Bear?

It was a mistake

I am sorry

The day I let you slip from my grasp, I wanted to take you back

I replay the moment, undoing time and ripping up a paper that should have never existed.

I kept saying “we will take her back” but they…they wouldn’t give you back.

It was a mistake, you see.

My heart–our hearts–are torn to shreds without you.

We try to recover, but there is no recovering.

No one can replace you

And only you can repair the gash in my soul that bleeds.

These feelings of sadness make me want to drown in some way

But I know I cannot leave this Earth like that

Its…it is not right.

I still search for you

I play positive memories that have not happened yet

The memories I play make me happy for a short while.

You are home with me, back in my arms and listening to Rekka Katakiri with me.

We’re watching Thor and later we watch The Avengers and happy anime.

I hear your cute, adorable bark

I can see you growling and rolling on the floor or biting your chew toy

I keep that toy hidden in my drawer because it lets me become close to you.

Daddy called you Ava

Mama and Cousin called you Bear

I called you Yoshi Ava Bear.

You are a German Shepherd puppy, nine weeks old when you fell from my grasp.

I asked for you to come back the next day. They said it would take two weeks….

Two weeks, they said.


This is you, a female German Shepherd puppy with a red collar. You had a pig doll that sounded like plastic when you bit it. You loved playing with water bottles. You had a Martha Stewart harness. It was white and had brown speckled spots. You had a simple bone toy, some organic dog food and you ate three times a day at 9 AM, 12 PM and 6 PM. October 9 was when I lost you….that was the day I was stabbed to death by emotions and spent the week crying. I still cry. I cry even now as I write this.


This is your Mama, Mya

And on the right is your father, King

And your brother, Tabo

Your sister Cecelia is in the back over there. I named her because I wanted her but I was glad that I had gotten you instead.

My family member, In this post I call him Papa because he is like a father to me, brought you from your Mother’s house and plopped you into my arms in a towel

You howled the whole night because you missed your Mama

I helped see you through your emotional plight.

You loved sitting under the table and being under things

I had a dream that you said, “Ask the lady at the PETCO Shelter to give me back.”

I thought, “Why would I do that?” and then I thought, “Well…it won’t hurt to try.”

I need you to come home, now, Yoshi.

Please…tell whoever you are with to bring you home.

I hope they understand. No…I know they’ll understand.

I am dead without you.

If I had waited an extra week…

……Please….if you are reading this….whoever has her….whoever your names are….

…….Please let me have her.

Dear Indie Authors of Amazon, Smashwords and the web, please repost this to every Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter and reblog this as much as you can. I need your help in getting Ava home.


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